Hello people! I am here to give you the first post of August and tell you I now weigh 307. That is the big 7....0...in weight loss! Yippee!
Alright, now that I have that out of the way, let me apologize for my crazy title. To assuage the feelings of my personal trainer friends and all my gym rat friends let me first clarify that I LOVE BEING A MEMBER OF A GYM! The problem was for me in the past that I never really have been able to partake of the gym. I have belonged to various gyms my whole adult life. I don't know if you guys recall but my first membership was to Spa Lady, an all female gym that even had pool access. I went twice. I belonged to two gyms at work. I think I may have went 4 times at HSBC, that was the most. I have a free gym at work now that I never seem to make before it closes and God forbid I go on a day off. I have belonged to Bailey's Gym in four locations twice. They are my favorite because they have the dark room that plays sports so I would get on the elliptical machine, pop on my headphones and watch all the hunkahunka men jump on the treadmills in front of me to get the best spot for the boob tube. Some even went topless. SQUEEEE! Alas, the first time was ruined by a mean Bosnian trainer who literally insulted me in front of the entire gym. It got so bad her manager came out and called her on it. The second time, I simply had no one to go with so it grew boring. It wasn't like super hot treadmill guys were jumping off and talking to me. Let's face it...big girl + sweat stains= not a good look. Finally I have been on a tight budget with my nephew and family trips and...eww...student loans so I went to Just Fitness where, well, I tried since it was cheaper but it just wasn't Bailey's. I will say that I have known many of my big girl counterparts who find success at the gym too. I worked with a nurse that simply looks amazing after probably a year of a strict diet and personal training sessions. I have friends that swear by it. A high school friend had to have lost 100lbs since and has kept it off by constantly hitting the gym. I have family that have lost weight and actually instruct classes at the gym. My closest nursing friend spends any time she's not at work in the gym and it brings her peace. My very best friend has been using the gym at work and she is really trimming down with a healthy diet. I am proud of all these people.
That being said, as much as I applaud them for doing it, I realized it is not right for me. I have posted before that I have to once again adapt and recreate myself. Some thing I tell people all the time and I apply to myself as well. "You can't keep doing the same thing and expect different results.". No, if I want to become a healthier version of myself, the gym just isn't the answer FOR ME. I get mad at friends for not working out for one. I hate looking like the pathetic loner (insecurity speaking) at the gym and gym classes are worst because I have no rhythm. I have zero respect for most personal trainers as well (not all because there are some excellent ones out there too) because I am a nurse now and have been for four years. Just because I LOOK like I know nothing of healthy living doesn't mean I didn't pay attention in all the years of training. I have taken multiple nutrition classes and am well versed on cardiac, diabetic, and renal diets because I LIVE it. Some of the crap I have been advised to do from a personal trainer should be held up in a court of law as I sue them and the company that hired the ignoramus with a certificate. I also have come to accept that as much as I enjoyed the concept of toting around a gym key card, I HATE BEING INDOORS. I hate touching sweaty machines, staring at the back of people's heads, and that awful sweat and leather smell. I hate the loud thumping music or the dumb talk shows playing just above eye level. I hate not being able to wear whatever the hell I want because nothing ever looks good enough. I have always hated their torture devices and would force myself to go which ties back into the whole friends-not-going-then-I'm-not-going part. Again, this is not what everyone says but...it may be what they are thinking, maybe not. Whatever is going on in everyone else's mind, this girl is jumping off of the elliptical.
That brings me to my current dilemma. I need to be more active. After the first 4-6 months (November) I will have to work to continue to lose the weight. That's usually after the first 100-125lbs. Here is my resolution: I just need to live. Sounds simple right? One of the things about being fat all your life is there are plenty things I have never done. There are things that I have always wanted to do or been forced to set aside. These are the things I need to do to keep me losing weight. What do I mean?
Well, the last 15lbs have been lost simply by increasing my activity. I don't sit down. Even immediately after surgery I walked my ass off at Disney World...literally. My Aunt Tracy and I ran through Animal Kingdom one Sunday afternoon. It was awesome and my reward was that I rode a roller coaster (Everest) for the first time in 14 years. I lost 7lbs that trip! I walk every chance I get and I take the stairs whenever I can to the garage at work or I walk the incline into the garage. I was shocked to find I no longer get winded doing either task.
My nephew is a personal trainer of the first water. Keeping up with him is better than running around a small mirrored room with a weight ball any day. I am a little ashamed to say I use him but he loves the attention and time with auntie and I hope I can do it for years to come. I have swam more this summer, probably more than I have ever swam in my life. Not just at a measly pool either, I have swam in the big boy pool, which most people call an ocean. I initially was working on perfecting my skills because while I am a decent swimmer I am the weakest of my family who happen to be fish people. My competitive side has said I need to change that. I swim against the tide to work on this. I swim probably two to three times a week until it gets too cold.
I am working on purchasing a bike or roller skates. Here's the thing. I know how to ride a bike, my father taught me so it's very special to me. I never quite got the hang of roller skates. I want to though. I've always wanted to disco dance with my Uncle Karl (who has a bad knee now) on some skates. Again, my whole family knows how to skate. I am the weakest link once more. I don't want to consider that the ship has sailed but how badly bruised will I become trying to defy my age and gravity? Only time will tell and with either choice I will need lots of prayers.
I still walk and will be working on my sprint since I bet my baby brother that once I'm back down to fighting size next year I will be the sprinter I was at 14, the one that could ALMOST lick her brothers, before the asthma kicked in. Competition is a big influence and a bigger demon in my gut until I beat him. No exchange of money though, he says he will swear off cigarettes FINALLY if I beat him. You should all, of course, cheer for me.
Lastly, once I reach 250lbs I want to join some dance classes and/or a martial arts class with my best friend. I feel like I took her away from that at 16 (martial arts) and turned on to working, eating, and a forever partner to watch movies with. I want to learn more grace and either one of these can do it. Even if I thoroughly regret this promise to myself later I won't regret having a second chance to taste life and experience all the stuff I've missed out on and that beats the dang gym any day.
I'm an honest soul so if I realize that this is not working I will enlist the help of a GREAT personal trainer and recant my above statements about the gym but for now. I'm swearing them off in lieu of a more fulfilling routine called "making up for lost time"!
Until the next time,
Fat Girl
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